Hercules
by OMGitsSEDDIE
Summary: Sam spreads a rumor about Freddie. Based on Measured Rumors by SquishyCool. Read that first to understand. Rated M for sex and harsh language.


Sam and Freddie barged into Carly's apartment, yelling and arguing. If you listened closely, you could catch snatches of their conversation:

"How could you post something so LUDICROUS on the website?!"

"Hey, hey, hey, I said NOTHING about rappers!"

"UGH! You're im_poss_ible!!"

"And you're a microphallused ego_man_iac!!"

"You're the one who started all this, and you're calling ME an egomaniac? Just because you have next to no social life, your mother doesn't love you, and your butt is ham-shaped does NOT give you the right to hack into my iCarly blog and tell everyone I have a small dick! Which I don't," he added, huffing and crossing his arms over his chest.

"The _one_ time I decide to tell the truth, you get all worked up!"

"The _TRUTH?!_ You couldn't tell the truth for a million dollars!!!!"

"Yeah?! Well, your DICK is still TINY!! MICROSCOPIC, even!!!!"

"It is NOT SMALL! STOP it, SAM! No WONDER every boy you date leaves you!"

"_GUYS!!_" Carly came up behind them, glaring at Freddie before finally turning to Spencer.

"What's going on?" asked the confused sculptor.

"Sam hacked into Freddie's blog and said he had a small – "

"Okay, I get it. You guys better hurry up and start iCarly. Anyone wanna eat first?"

At the mention of food, Sam's head whipped around. "Sure," she said, flipping her hair nonchalantly. "What's cookin', good lookin'?"

Freddie flinched. Whenever Sam did something like calling Spencer "Handsome," it made him uncomfortable. Their relationship was unnaturally close.

"I'm makin' bacon! And eggs, for some reason. Who doesn't love breakfast for dinner?!"

"Pass me a plate, and let's go start the show!"

Three-quarters of the show went off without a hitch. Then Sam remembered the argument.

"Well, that's pretty much it for this iCarly! Make sure to check out Freddie's new _blog _before you leave the site!"

"_Sam…_" Freddie growled, warning her.

"Oh, lighten up, Fredweird! People would find out eventually!"

"WHEN will you get it through your blonde bimbo head that I do NOT have a small dick?!" Freddie roared.

"When you admit that you are a microphallused techno-geek who will never get a girlfriend. Anyways," she said, grinning into the camera, "who wants to guess how small the nub's penis is? Probably shrunk from all those nightly tick baths: they can't be good for your sexual health."

Luckily, most of iCarly's audience had grown up along with the seventeen-year-olds, or else they would be getting angry phone calls from parents.

"_My_ guess," Sam continued cruelly, "is that if his dick is as small as his brain, he'll never have children!"

Carly stood there, too frozen with fear to break up the fight. By now, Freddie's face was red, and he was seething with anger.

He stalked forward and drew his camera off to the side with a maniacal look on his face. Carly's guess was that she was about to bitch-slap Sam across the face with his camera.

As if she could read his mind (she probably could), Sam growled, "If you dare hit me with that camera, I will chop your dick off and feed it to Frothy. Of course," she added, not being able to resist one more jab, "she'd probably think she swallowed an ant or something…."

"THAT'S IT!" Freddie roared, throwing down his camera and marching toward Sam.

Carly quickly ran toward the cart and switched to B cam.

"OKAY, folks! That's enough for today! See you on the next iCarly… I hope," she added before shutting off the camera.

Carly flew out of the room, too upset to talk to either of her two best friends.

Sam smirked, putting on a mask of nonchalance as Freddie stalked toward her, fuming.

"Why?" His voice was surprisingly calm. "Why would you do something like this? Haven't I always at least _tried_ to be nice to you?"

"Stuff it, Benson. I've got bigger fish to fry."

Sam strode over to the door, about to saunter out as if nothing had ever happened.

Freddie was at the door in a heartbeat. "Answer me, or no one's leaving this room."

Sam just scoffed and pushed past him to the elevator.

All of a sudden, she found herself pinned to the wall, Freddie's eyes locked on hers.

"Why?"

"Stop."

"Why?"

"Stop."

"_Why?_"

"_Stop._"

"Fine then. I guess I'll just have to punish you." He smirked softly.

"Punish _me?_ How could a nub like _you_ possibly – ?"

Freddie captured her lips in a passionate kiss, squeezing her breasts and thrusting his knee between her legs. She moaned loudly, against her will. He softly placed kisses along her jaw line, leaving her breathless as she began to melt to his whim.

Sam's heart fluttered as he began trailing kisses down her neck, making sure to suck lightly at her pulse and collarbone, pausing only to rip off her shirt and throw it in the corner. She never cared much for that shirt anyway.

The bulge in his pants was rubbing against the inside of her thigh. It drove her _insane._

He unhooked her bra, and her voice raised an octave as he kissed and licked at her breasts, giving special attention to each rosy nub. His teeth bore down lightly on her left nipple, and she squealed his name, sighing as he picked her up and took her to the floor. He tore off his shirt and stripped to his boxers, pausing while Sam stared at his sculpted chest.

"Shit, Freddie. What kinda punishment _is _this?" she muttered weakly. He only smirked and hooked his fingers in the waistband of her shorts.

He slid off her shorts, and smiled when he saw the dark wet stain. She wanted him. Badly.

He pressed a finger to her aching clit through her panties, and she arched her back, involuntarily letting out a soft moan.

By now, he was grinning, humming to himself as he slid down her panties and innocently ran his tongue along her slit.

Sam jerked, blindly reaching for his head and pulling him in.

"Freddie…" she groaned. "Take me… please! I'm sor – Ughhh……" she moaned as Freddie began to finger her, rubbing his thumb around her clit.

"Oh, my God," she said over and over until finally, her stomach clenched and she let out a scream.

Freddie smirked. Sam's eyes rolled around in her head, trying to clear the stars from her vision.

The pressure built up in her abdomen again as Freddie began to lap up her juices, digging his tongue into her clit, rolling it in his teeth.

She gasped as his tongue found its way to her center, lapping at her G-spot, making her jerk wildly.

"Dear Jesus, Freddie…." She trailed off as Freddie's head came up, grinning mischievously at her.

He stood up and yanked her up by the hair, the show of dominance only making her wetter.

"Suck it."

She stared at the huge bulge in his boxers, wondering how the dork had become so…. well endowed.

She pulled down his boxers, looking at the throbbing, purple-veined monster before her. Slowly, she brought her mouth toward it, smirking triumphantly when he let out a low, guttural groan.

She wrapped her hand around the base and took him in, gagging after about six inches. Freddie let out a strangled yell and hissed when she began to pump up and down, sliding her tongue around him and digging it into the tip.

"Sam…. I'm…. gonna cum!" He yelled, trying to keep himself from going over the edge.

She stopped, letting Freddie push her back and position himself at her entrance.

She screamed loudly as Freddie rammed into her, not even stopping to let her adjust to his enormous size. She bucked her hips wildly, screaming and moaning as Freddie slammed into her again and again, faster and faster.

"Is it big?" he asked calmly.

"_Yes…._" she moaned, almost incoherently, as she ground her hips against him.

"Are you sorry?" he growled into her ear, tickling it with his breath.

"_Yes…_" she squealed as her stomach clenched.

"Freddie, I think I'm gonna – "

Freddie pulled out of her and stood up, grabbing his clothes and pulling them on.

"Freddie, where the fuck do you think you're going? You're not gonna leave me like this, are you?"

Freddie closed the door, turning off the lights as he went.

Sam didn't say a word as she gathered her clothes and slowly pulled them on. Finally, she sat in the middle of the dark studio, legs pulled up to her chest. Tears gathered in her eyes. She was determined not to let them fall.

**You thought the sex was the punishment, didn't you, dear reader? Fooled ya there! Last chapter **_**should**_** be up next week. I am a **_**baaaaaad**_** updater. Plus, freshman year starts the 8****th**** for me.**

**I have a Twitter! Follow me: OMGitsSEDDIE. I follow anyone with "Seddie" in their screenname!**

_**No More Sorrow, **_**my angsty sextilogy, is coming out soon! Look out for it.**

_**ANGST! PAIN! SEX! ROMANCE!  
All wrapped up in SIX novel-esque one-shots!!! No More Sorrow: The Sextilogy. Coming soon to a computer near you.**_


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